My sister’s name at birth was Barbara Ann Schmidt. How she acquired the nickname of Becky is family lore. My mother’s maiden name was Beckman. When my parents were dating, my father often called mom “Becky”, a diminutive of her surname, Beckman. When my sister was born – she became “Little Becky”. Consequently—to everyone within the family she was always “Becky”. She was never crazy about that name and was known to everyone else as Barb or Barbara. To her seed pals, she was “Barb”.
Now, within the family – I had been the one with penpals. I acquired my first penpal, a distant cousin, when we were about ten years old. The Internet has changed much of how we perceive penpals and my sister was no exception. She joyfully embraced becoming acquainted with people via the Internet and developed quite a network of friendships. Most important of these were her “seed pals”. Unlike me, who didn’t have a green thumb and like Erma Bombeck, belonged to the Black Thumb Terrorist Organization (we killed plants), my sister had inherited our paternal grandmother’s ability to make anything grow (flowers, plants, vegetables, children).
When Wendy expressed an interest in learning more about my sister’s seed pals, I wrote to them, asking them to tell me how they became acquainted with my sister. I had begun sporadic correspondence with some of these seed pals several years ago, when my sister’s illness left her too debilitated to continue writing, I would provide updates on her condition. Many responded to my request for information. There were over a dozen women throughout the USA with whom Barbara corresponded and mailed seeds from her garden (Often in empty pill bottles!). Some seed pals live in Montana, South Carolina, Georgia, Texas, California, and Ohio. (She also sent seeds to various family members, including myself).
Mary, in South Carolina, wrote “…I met your sis on an AOL Garden web site about 3 years ago. I posted for something and so did she and we swapped. Every year since, I have giant, carnation-sized marigolds of hers, some bell flowers and a Malva Zebrina. In turn, I have shared her seeds and they have made it to Canada and England, along with PA, TN, FL, SC and NY. As you can see, the ‘pebble in the pond’ has indeed spread far and wide…” Mary says they would also exchange garden information and tips they’d learned along the way, and would also discuss crafts. “I think of her each year when my giant marigolds show their heads in the garden” Mary concluded.
A seed pal named Demaris, in Texas wrote “Barb sent me many more seeds than I sent her. I sent the excess seeds to others and some to Croatia.” Some of those seeds did not survive the hot Texas weather except for a Four O’ Clock plant which has returned for the past three years…” Demaris also met Barb on an AOL message board.
A childhood friend, Patty, who lives in Ohio wrote, “Barb and I swapped perennial seeds. She also sent some gourds for my daughter’s Christmas crafts”.
Vicki, a niece, confided that “Aunt Becky” sent her a lot of seeds over the years. The most recent seeds were hollyhocks. When the seeds arrived, Vicki called her aunt who told her where to plant them and not to expect too much the first season, but if they liked their location, they would bloom the following season. “I remember walking past the flower bed and seeing these huge stalks! Then, of course, a few weeks later they bloomed in beautiful shades of pink! I felt like I was growing my own ‘beanstalk’ because they kept growing and growing until they were 8’ tall!”
Another Buckeye penpal wrote “I was one of Barb’s seed pals. Several years ago she sent me seeds for cosmos…and then I moved from a house with a large garden space to a condo with a tiny space, so the cosmos seeds went into my daughter’s Christmas stocking. My older girl planted a feathery cosmos border along a piney log fence in back of her house, so she can look out on that picture when her kids cut through backyards to catch the schoolbus…”
Stella, in California, wrote, “I met Barbara on the online garden boards. We started out exchanging seeds and began corresponding…we seemed to click and she enjoyed having another ‘youngster’ to correspond with…and dubbed herself as Granny Barb when she signed her letters to me…she sent me quite a number of different seeds collected from her garden…also two dried gourds from the backyard. Seeds were hollyhocks. Sunflowers, cleome and blue morning glories…”
Bre, who lives in Northern California, wrote, “I met Barb online…through a seed exchange. We started to chat about gardening and later about cancer. We laughed and cried together as we shared our stories…I loved her straight away…I remember when she sent flower and gourd seeds to [my son] so we could grow them in our garden. He loved the gourds and still carries around the hand painted gourd she sent for his first Christmas….my gardens are starting to bloom and my “granny Barb” section; I have a Granny Barb angel in her special section of the secret garden…”
Possibly one of my favorite stories came from my sister’s sister-in-law, Lois, who wrote, “I had a Night Blooming Cirrus which had not bloomed in several years. All of a sudden a bud appeared; I watched it carefully since it takes several days to open. On October 12th it opened to the fullest with the most beautiful scent. I later learned that Barb died about the same time. The bloom doesn’t last but a few hours and it was gone when she was…”
My sister Barbara, aka Becky, lost her battle with breast cancer on October 10, 2004—but her seeds continue to grow and bloom in many different parts of the country.
